How To Make “Taco Salad”

7:06:00 AM

This is a family recipe, and by our family standards it’s the ONLY thing that passes for Taco Salad around here.  Here’s how I make it.  (seriously, this is really how it’s done…)

1 lb ground beef
1 cut up onion (I use purple)
2 Medium tomatoes (your favorite kind)
1 can of red kidney beans
1 bag of “salad” (you know, the cut up lettuce with one or two pieces of shredded carrot in it)
1 bag of shredded cheese (yes, I said “bag” – no I don’t know how big.  Depends on how much you like cheese I guess)
1 avocado
1 bag Cool Ranch Doritos
Ranch Dressing
Catalina Dressing

Brown the ground beef in the pan.  Make sure to remove the soaker pad from under the meat, this salad has it’s own sources of fiber, you don’t need any additional.

If you don’t like raw onions, throw them in with the meat and cook them – if you do like raw onions, then skip this step.

While cooking the beef, open the can of kidney beans and rinse and drain them.  While doing this, explain to the kids that not all kidney beans are for Chili.  Yes, it’s okay to use them in other recipes. Really.

Dump the beans into a salad bowl.  Make sure it’s big enough to hold all the ingredients listed above.

Drain the beef and rinse it.  Use cold water.  Add the beef to the kidney beans in the salad bowl.  Explain to the kids that you are still not making chili.  Yes, I do know that is what it looks like.

Add the onions to the beef.  Explain to Jesse he can pick them out if he wants to.  Thank Elizabeth for telling you she’ll eat them because they are purple, and purple is her favorite color.

Go outside to see the “pyramid” the kids created in the back yard in the mud.

Come back inside.  Open the bag of lettuce and rinse it.  Add this to the bowl of beef and beans.

Explain to the kids that you know that there is no lettuce in Chili.

Open the bag of cheese and pour desired amount into the bowl.  Begin chopping the tomato while the husband pours the rest of the cheese into the bowl while you aren’t looking.

Put chopped up tomato into the bowl.  Discover that there isn’t enough room in the bowl and switch to a larger bowl that will surely hold the entire salad.

Cut up the avocado and toss with a little lemon juice to keep it from browning.  Tell the baby that lemon juice isn’t for drinking.  After arguing with her for five minutes give her a tiny bit to taste.  Realize that this was a bad idea – she actually likes lemon juice, and it didn’t teach her the lesson intended.

Toss the salad to combine all the ingredients in the bowl.

Crush the entire bag of Cool Ranch Doritos.  Be sure to open the bag before commencing crushing, if you forgot this step – take a few minutes to clean up all the doritios that spread themselves all over the floor.  Also, it is important to crush the entire bag.  This is important for leftovers.  I’ve found if you don’t crush the entire bag – kids and husbands tend to steal chips through out the night (after dinner) leaving you with none for your leftover salad tomorrow.

To Serve:
Give each person about a fist sized portion of the salad mixture.  Top with a handful of the crushed Doritos.  Top with equal parts Catalina (also known as Russian French dressing – but in our house, only Catalina will do) and Ranch dressing.

Explain to Jesse he can’t just have chips, he has to have salad too.

Watch Elizabeth eat the “purple” onions and then decide she doesn’t really like “purple” foods.

Give a prize to whatever family member finds the one piece of shredded carrot from the salad mix.


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